Reflections – Page 19 – Reflections

February 20, 2020/1 Comment/by Moiz Amjad

Altruism and the Intention to Please God

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“I think I understand the concept of ‘altruism.'” I said. Then, after a pause, I added, “There are two questions, however, that are causing some confusion in my mind. The first of these relates to something that you said regarding the source of the somewhat universality of experiencing a feeling of joy, peace, and serenity when we act altruistically.” He did not allow me to finish, and said, “You think that is it dogmatic to believe in God and to ascribe these feeling as having been implanted in us by Him?”

“No. My question is different. What I want to know is that if you think that the universality of the feeling of elation when we act altruistically is because of our inherent and ‘Divine’ programming, then do you think that our Creator wants us to be altruistic?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said, “I strongly believe that He does.”

“Then, would I be correct in assuming that you would also believe that God will reward our altruistic acts?” I asked.

“Yes. I think God will reward all our good deeds if we do them with the right intentions.” He answered confidently.

“That is what I thought,” I said triumphantly and continued, “now, my question is, if I were to act altruistically in the hope of being rewarded for it by God, will it mean that I have an ulterior motive and, thus, go against the very spirit of altruism?”

He looked seriously at me and said, “No.”

“But, you said that one has a desire to recognized, appreciated, or rewarded for any of his acts of supporting and helping others, it would amount to an ulterior motive, and an altruistic act should be clear of all ulterior motives. Isn’t that right?” I asked.

“Yes. That is right.” He said, and added, “but an ulterior motive, by its very nature, relates to this desire to be recognized, appreciated, or rewarded by other human beings. You see, the desire to be rewarded, appreciated or recognized by God does not entail the dangers that are entailed in our desire to be rewarded, or appreciated by other human beings.”

“What are these dangers?” I asked.

“When we act righteously to be rewarded, appreciated, or recognized by other human beings, it endangers our integrity. Our lives are then dictated not by any noble principles, but by who might be watching or observing us, at that time. Obviously, there is no such danger of being prone to lack of integrity, when the only reward we seek and hope for, is to please the All-Knowing God, from Whom, nothing is hidden.” He said, and then asked, “Does that make any sense to you?”

“I will need to think about it.” I said and then added, “My second question is why do you consider altruistic acts to be among the most fundamental good behaviors?”

“I hold altruistic acts to contribute toward the rejuvenation of the human spirit, and anything that contributes toward the rejuvenation of the human spirit deserves to be placed among the ‘fundamentally good behaviors’ in my eyes.” He said.

January 7, 2020
(Dubai, UAE)

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February 11, 2020/1 Comment/by Moiz Amjad

Feelings of those Affected by Altruism

“So, I understand then that an altruistic act can be a source of peace, serenity, and satisfaction for the person who undertakes it. I think an equally important aspect is to see how such an act makes the other person – the beneficiary – feel too,” I said.

“Yes. That is quite right. I think both aspects are very important. How do you think the other person feels?” He asked.

I thought for a while and then said, “I think it makes one feel supported and cared for.”

He was focused on a picture of his family on the wall, when he said, “Don’t you think it makes you feel connected and in a close relationship that goes beyond all boundaries, barriers, and borders? It reminds you of being a part of the human family, that goes beyond all social as well as all superficial divisions.

“You see, whenever I think of that incident outside ‘Spinneys,’ I am intrigued by the thought that we were completely unaware of each other’s nationalities, religious ascriptions, socio-cultural backgrounds, or even each other’s existence in the world. It was purely a human connection – a relationship born out of our common humanity and an understanding and awareness of our human needs, desires, and aspirations.”

January 6, 2020
(Dubai, UAE)

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February 8, 2020/1 Comment/by Moiz Amjad

When Touched by Someone’s Altruism

“Have you ever been touched by someone’s altruism?” I asked.

He looked at me with a very pleasant and a hearty smile, and said, “Some time back, I was with my wife in Dubai. We did not get a local number, so our internet connection only worked as long as we were in our apartment. One day – it was probably our second day there – we decided to go out for some grocery shopping. Using the apartment’s internet, we booked an Uber taxi and asked the driver to take us to the closest supermarket. As we arrived, I could see ‘Spinneys’ written on the building in bright green color. I asked the driver what that area was called and he told me that it was ‘Silicon Oasis.’

“We went inside the building and picked the things on our list. After about forty-five minutes, we were standing at the checkout counters with four bags full of groceries. After settling the bills, our next mission was to find the taxi-stand to get a cab that would take us to our apartment. We approached the security desk to find out where would we find the taxi-stand and to our dismay, we were told that there wasn’t any in this building. ‘Then where would we find a taxi?’ I asked and was told that we will have to take a chance, waiting at the front entrance for a customer who takes a drop there. ‘That is your only chance to get a taxi, other than using your phone and booking an Uber or a Careem taxi.’

“Neither of us was carrying our passport, so we could not get a local number. Now, there was nothing else to do but to wait. So, we stood at the front entrance, hoping for a customer to take a drop there. Many customers came, but none in a taxi. By this time, Dubai was engulfed in the dark of the night.

“Then – it seemed like a long time later – a young man in his late 20’s, who was approaching the entrance and was about to cross us, when my wife suddenly said, ‘excuse me, do you know how can we get a taxi here?’

“The gentleman answered, ‘if you want to get a taxi here, you will need to call Uber or Careem taxi.’ While we were talking to the gentleman, from the corners of our eyes we saw a tall and fair young lady hurriedly cross us, almost running into the supermarket.

“’But we don’t have a local number,’ I heard my wife say. The gentleman reluctantly pulled his telephone out of his pocket, but before he could even turn it on, the tall, fair, young lady who had hurriedly crossed us, was standing there with her cell-phone in her hand and asked, ‘you need a taxi?’ It was not really a question, as before we could answer, she was already booking one. Within a minute, she looked at the two of us with a smile and said, ‘it will come at the front entrance and this is its license-plate number,’ and as she started to turn back toward the supermarket, my wife said, ‘thank you very much. You’ve really been a great help.’ She casually turned back and said, ‘no, it’s ok,’ and she was gone.

“As she left, we looked at each other inquisitively. It seemed that we were both searching for the appropriate words to say when suddenly, she was back by our side and said, ‘sometimes, the cab drivers ask the name of the person who has booked the taxi. In case he does, my name is Maria.’”

Then he looked at me straight in the eyes and said, “Yes. Maria’s altruism touched us.”

“How did it feel?” I asked.

“Very honestly, it made me feel that God had sent an angel for us.” He said with a smile and then added, “It made me feel that we were visible to the world; It made me feel that what was bothering us as a problem could be felt by someone else in the world too. It made me feel that our existence was noticeable and it actually mattered to someone.”

January 5, 2020
(Dubai, UAE)

February 5, 2020/2 Comments/by Moiz Amjad

Why is Goodness Rare?

“If we are all a creation of God – a moral Creator – who has made goodness inherent in all of us, then why do we find goodness to be so rare? Don’t you think that if goodness was inherent in all of us, it should have been more commonly observed?” I asked.

“First of all, I don’t think that goodness is as rare as we sometimes tend to think.” He immediately replied. Then, after a moment’s silence, he continued, “I think, we tend to see more of whatever you call the opposite of ‘goodness,’ because we become conditioned to focusing on it and expecting it from others. Thus, on the one hand, we expect it from others and, on the other, we notice it more.”

After a few more moments of silence, he said, “As for your question, what I call ‘inherent goodness’ does not mean that humans are supernaturally inclined and attracted toward doing ‘good’. It neither implies that people have more potential to do good, as compared to their potential for doing ‘bad’, nor does it imply that taking to the path of goodness is easier for people, as compared to avoiding it,” he said. Then taking a slow, deliberate sip of his strong black coffee, continued, “what it means to me is that we feel more elated and at peace inside when we do what we consider to be good, even if treading this path can occasionally be very difficult and can sometimes entail huge costs. I also think that we are in a state of inner conflict, disturbance, and, sometimes, even guilt when we indulge in something that we know to be wrong, even if doing so gives us immediate pleasure and gratification of desires.”

“Even if that is the case, why do we not see more of goodness around us? Do you think people don’t value this state of inner peace and serenity?” I asked.

He looked at me with a strange kind of pain in his eyes and said, “can you think of a time when you knew what was the right thing to do, but you still didn’t do it for some reason?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, hoping I would be able to avoid answering his question.

“For instance, can you think of a time when a small action on your part could have saved someone from a big…,” I could not wait for him to finish and interjected, “yes, once while traveling on a bus, I could have saved an old man from a big hassle and a lot of embarrassment, by paying a very small and insignificant amount for his ticket. I could not bring myself to take that step and sat there frozen, while the ticket checker forced him out of the bus. Whenever that thought comes to my mind, I feel extremely sorry for it and wish I could, somehow, do something about it now.”

“I really can understand that,” he said, and asked, “Had you been able to help that old man on that day, how would you have felt today, recalling that incident?”

I thought for a while and then said, “I am sure, the memory of the incident would have been a source of extraordinary joy and great pride for me.”

“Yes, I am sure that it would indeed have been one.” He said, and then after a few moments of silence, added, “what do you think held you back from taking that step?”

“I can’t say exactly what hindered my taking that small action,” I said and then added as an afterthought, “maybe, I just did not want to stand out from among so many people sitting in the bus; maybe I didn’t want people to think of me as a pompous and a pretentious person.”

“I can understand that. Really! I can relate to that too. There have been times that I have felt exactly that way,” he said. Then after a pause and a couple of sips of his coffee, added, “many times, we avoid doing the right thing, because doing the right thing can entail an immediate cost or a loss of benefit – even if the cost is just to stand out of the crowd. This potential cost or loss of benefit may or may not be huge, but it is generally immediate. And in our desire to avoid that cost, we miss out on the opportunity to do the right thing and, thus, miss out on experiencing the spiritual and moral elation that comes with doing what we consider to be ‘right’. Then, if we keep treading this path, it becomes a habit; And once it becomes a habit, we stop deliberating on our actions and their consequences – for ourselves as well as for others – and simply keep doing what will help us avoid the immediate costs and loss of benefits.”

I just sat there, trying to digest what he had just said. After a long silence, he said, “just think about it.”

January 4, 2020
(Dubai, UAE)

January 26, 2020/by Moiz Amjad

Why do Altruistic Acts Make Us All Feel Good Inside?

“I have been thinking about what you have said regarding altruism. I find it very strange that with so much diversity in our cultural, economic, educational, religious and socio-political backgrounds; so much difference in our nurturing; so many variations in our concerns, desires, and aspirations, we all feel good inside when we act in altruistic ways. If this is really so, what is the source of this common trait?” I asked.

He quietly looked away. His eyes were staring blankly into the open space outside the window. It seemed an extraordinarily long time before he looked back at me and said, “Those who search for a cause for every effect would say that it is a gene that survived in humans in their evolutionary process. Societies that were more altruistic survived and flourished and dominated those which were not. Thus, the altruistic gene dominated and got transmitted to later generations.” He stopped and once again looked out of the window into the open space, before continuing, “those who believe that we are all a creation of God – a moral Creator – would say that this universality of feeling elated at performing altruistic acts is because of the goodness that the Creator made inherent in every human being.”

“I see,” I said and then with a mischievous smile added, “but which one of these two explanations do you prefer?”

This time, he immediately replied, “I believe that we are a creation of God – a moral Creator.”

January 3, 2020
(Dubai, UAE)

January 19, 2020/by Moiz Amjad

Altruistic Acts Make Us Feel Good Inside

“My question today is that if a person is not looking for recognition, appreciation, or reward, then why would he or she do something for the benefit or welfare of another person? Are we not motivated to act in self-interest? In other words, my question is what moves a person to take an altruistic action?” I asked him.

Once again, he had the same proud smile on his face, when he said, “I think it is a big mistake to think that humans are motivated to act only in self-interest. Haven’t you ever seen people stopping and helping others who have met an accident on the road, even though they are completely unknown to them; or rolling down their car windows to give money to the needy, even though they might never see them again; or even just picking up a stone or a similar object lying on a path, that can potentially be a cause of stumbling for someone, even though they don’t know, who that person might be. I cannot see how such acts could generally be ascribed to self-interest.”

“If it is not in self-interest, then why do people do such things,” I asked.

“I think it is quite obvious that such acts make them feel good inside.” He replied.

“When you say ‘such acts make them feel good inside’, who are you referring to? Is it people of a particular country, a particular region, or the whole world? Does it refer to people of our time or to earlier times as well?” I was genuinely curious.

“It is my opinion that this is a universal phenomenon and is equally true for people of all times and all places,” he replied.

“What you are saying is that irrespective of a person’s educational, economic, geographic, or socio-political background, or religious affiliation, whenever one does good for someone else – without any self-serving, ulterior motive – it makes one feel good inside. Is that correct?” I asked.

“Yes. That is my opinion,” he replied.

January 3, 2020
(Dubai, UAE)

January 16, 2020/3 Comments/by Moiz Amjad

What is Altruism?

“You keep referring to ‘altruism’ as a fundamental good. Can you please explain what exactly do you mean by that?” I asked him.

He smiled at me – a proud smile, which I had now become so used to seeing every time I asked him a question – and asked, “Have you ever done something in which you were only concerned about the welfare of or about satisfying a need of another person, without any other ulterior motive?”

“I don’t know,” I replied, “what do you mean by ‘ulterior motive?’”

“’Ulterior motive’ is a motive that lies beyond what is evident, revealed or declared.” He said. Then recognizing the confusion on my face, continued, “You see, there’s a danger of having an ulterior motive, whenever one does something good. One may be helping an old man cross the road – and this would definitely be a great act of kindness – but, one may be doing this great act of kindness for some other motive, not known to anyone other than himself. For instance, he may be doing it simply to be recognized as a good person by the onlookers, or to win their trust or confidence, or to be appreciated as a helpful individual, or simply to win the heart of someone he admires. But, remember, as I mentioned, this hidden motive will only be known to him. No one besides himself can know it with any degree of certainty unless he himself decides to share it with someone else. So, do you understand what is an ‘ulterior motive’ now?”

“Yes. I think I do. So, coming back to ‘altruism’, I understand that it implies doing something to benefit another person, without desiring to be recognized, appreciated or rewarded in return. Is that correct?” I asked.

“Yes. That is how I see it.” He replied.

January 1, 2020
(Dubai, UAE)

January 6, 2020/4 Comments/by Moiz Amjad

Punishment by ‘Community Service’!

I was attending a meeting with an educational group. One of the members of the group mentioned that they had found an innovative way of punishing those students, who were found guilty of misconduct. He elaborated on his excitement thus: ‘When someone is found guilty of misconduct, he/she has to perform a fixed number of hours in community service.’ I could not hold myself back from interjecting him and said: ‘Community service as a punishment? Don’t you think a person should be subjected to it as a reward for something good that he/she has done, rather than as a punishment?’ Ignoring my question, he said: ‘This point is beyond the scope of this meeting. Secondly, we have had great results from it. We will, therefore, continue doing so.’ And that was the end of the discussion on this point.

I am strictly against the idea of controlling behavior through the Skinnerian or the Behavioral model of Rewards and Punishments. Much has and will be written and said on it. Today, my surprise at this idea of subjecting a perpetrator to mandatory hours of ‘community service’ forced me to write. It needs to be acknowledged at the start that this is not a new idea and may find its roots in the idea of the rehabilitation of criminals.

Without delving into the philosophical aspects of this point of view, there is one aspect that makes one cringe: Do we want to promote ‘community work’ in our young, as a punishment? A punishment, as the current social paradigm holds, is something that a wrongdoer is subjected to, which is considered humiliating and socially degrading. The whole idea can be summed up as follows:

When I have done something wrong, I should be subjected to an act that would make me feel more humiliated and degraded, compared to the pleasure I had gained from my initial ‘wrong’ doing.

Now, think about the whole idea again. Do we want to promote community service in our young as representing humiliation and social degradation? Shouldn’t it, to the contrary, be promoted as representing a special privilege that only the fortunate ones are allowed to undertake? As already mentioned, I am strictly against the behavioral idea of behavior modification, but it was only with this in mind that I had dared to ask: Don’t you think a person should be subjected to it as a reward for something good that he/she has done, rather than as a punishment?

We are so overwhelmed by the Skinnerian school of stimulus and response that we have completely lost sight of the fact that the element of perception that lies between the stimulus and the response plays a pivotal role in the ultimate and the long-term development of the human being in question. It is quite possible to get the desired response from the subject in the short-run (because of our control over the stimulus), yet in the long-run such stimuli, because of misperceptions (or simply different perceptions) on the part of the subject, can sometimes lead to results that are very different from what we had originally desired.

December 18, 2019
(Lahore, Pakistan)

January 1, 2020/by Moiz Amjad