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From Vision to Action: One Step at a Time

From Vision to Action: One Step at a Time

 

 

Creating a compelling vision for one’s life is both inspiring and essential. It provides direction, sparks purpose, and aligns our energy toward something meaningful. But soon after that clarity emerges, another experience often occurs—overwhelm. The gap between where we are and where we want to go can feel vast. We might ask ourselves, “How will I ever get there? There’s so much to accomplish. What if I fail?”

This is where we need to pause and reframe. Because progress is not achieved by solving the entire puzzle at once. It happens by taking the first clear step—with faith, humility, and courage.

Begin with What You Can Do

In every situation, the first question should not be, “How do I solve everything?” but rather, “What can I do right now?”

The idea is not to plan 300 steps ahead, which only causes anxiety. Instead, focus on one small but right step that you can control. Put your energy there.

Often, we immobilize ourselves with questions about the future:

  • What if it doesn’t work?
  • What if I can’t handle the next phase?
  • What if I run out of strength?

But the present asks us to focus on today, not solve tomorrow.

Let the First Step Reveal the Next

Once you take that first meaningful action, a surprising thing happens: the next step becomes clear. Like headlights in the fog, you don’t need to see the entire road. You just need to see far enough to keep moving forward.

Trying to control or predict the entire journey often comes from fear. But faith-based living teaches us: We are responsible for effort, not results. The solutions belong to God. Our role is to take wise, humble, consistent action, one step at a time.

Destiny Reveals Itself Along the Way

You might think, “I’ll arrive when I reach this milestone.” But every destination turns out to be part of a longer journey. As soon as you achieve something, new responsibilities, emotions, and uncertainties come up.

Even joy can cause fear: What if I lose what I’ve just found?

This is a reminder that life isn’t a fixed point — it’s a changing, evolving journey. There is no “final arrival” in this world. There is only movement, growth, surrender, and constant re-alignment.

Faith, Not Forecasting

When we create a vision for our lives, we must remember Who ultimately shapes the outcomes. We may walk with wisdom, but only God sees the full picture. Our responsibility is not to predict every step but to act with trust and integrity at each decision point.

Let the future unfold as it will. Focus on doing the next right thing—and trust the One who writes destinies to handle the rest.

Reflection Questions

  • What is one action I can take today that aligns with my vision and values?
  • Am I fixating on outcomes I can’t control instead of focusing on what I can do?
  • Where do I need to let go of the illusion of control and trust the process more?
  • Have I mistaken a milestone for the end instead of embracing the next chapter of the journey?

Final Thought

Don’t let the size of the mountain prevent you from taking the first step. You were never meant to carry the entire journey on your shoulders—only to walk it, one step at a time.

And in that walk, God meets you.

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Death as a Master Reminder

 

 

یہ مضمون اردو میں پڑھیں

There are moments in life that wake us up more than any lecture, book, or conversation ever could. Few reminders hit as hard as death. One evening, a neighbor chats casually, and the next morning, news spreads that he slipped, fell, and never got up again. A friend shares dinner with you one day and is gone the next week. These sudden departures strike like lightning—brief, blinding, unforgettable.

The Illusion of Permanence

Most of us live as if tomorrow is guaranteed. We plan vacations months in advance, delay apologies, and postpone what truly matters. Death interrupts this illusion and reminds us that the future is not ours to promise. The only certainty is the present moment.

We see life as if it extends infinitely ahead, but in reality, each moment passes irreversibly. However, every moment is not lost—it becomes eternal. How we spend it will resonate forever. Every decision we make—whether in kindness or cruelty, gratitude or ingratitude—leads to a lasting consequence.

Everyday Encounters with Mortality

The reminder of death occurs not only during major events but also in everyday experiences.

  • Watching a funeral procession pass by.
  • Hearing about the sudden illness of a colleague.
  • Reading news of an accident involving someone your own age.

Each event whispers: “You too are temporary. But what you do now will last forever. How will you use your time?”

Death and Perspective

When death confronts us, many things lose their significance. Resentments suddenly seem trivial. The quest for recognition feels empty. Even material success, though not meaningless, no longer defines the value of life.

What grows sharper instead are questions of legacy:

  • Did I love sincerely?
  • Did I use my abilities to serve, or only to hoard?
  • If I leave tomorrow, what will endure from my choices today?

Death, like a stern teacher, refuses to let us hide behind distractions.

A Master Reminder, Not a Morbid Obsession

Some worry that thinking about death too often makes life feel heavy and joyless. But in reality, it can do the opposite. By reminding us that our time is limited, death encourages us to enjoy life more fully. A meal with loved ones tastes sweeter when we know such moments are temporary. An evening walk feels more valuable when we realize we might not have endless evenings left.

The reminder is not meant to paralyze but to prioritize. Death does not ask us to stop living; it asks us to live more deliberately—knowing that every breath is shaping eternity.

The Inner Dialogue Death Awakens

Encounters with death trigger a change in our self-talk. The complaint, “Why is life unfair?” often shifts to “What can I do with the life I still have?” Instead of endlessly delaying growth, we start to take action. Instead of holding onto bitterness, we forgive. Instead of fearing the end, we prepare for it by cherishing our present moments.

The Three Choices Before Us

If every moment is pushing us toward our unavoidable end, we cannot escape the need to choose how to face it. In reality, there are only three options:

  1. Ignore it: We can live in denial, distracting ourselves until the inevitable overtakes us. But ignorance does not protect us from reality; it only guarantees we arrive unprepared.
  2. Fret about it: We can become paralyzed by fear, and resent life’s impermanence, as if despair could slow the train rushing us forward. But this only wastes the time we do have.
  3. Eternalize it: We can give each moment meaning—through acts of compassion, words of truth, and efforts of integrity—so that when destiny arrives, it finds us ready, even eager, to face it.

The third choice is the only one that transforms inevitability into hope.

Conclusion

Death is not an end; it is a master reminder. It exposes life’s fragility, dissolves illusions, and brings into focus what truly matters. Though life is impermanent, every passing moment is becoming eternal.

We cannot change the train of time racing toward its destination, but we can choose how we ride it. We can ignore it, fret about it, or fill the journey with meaning. The last choice transforms the inevitability of death into the triumph of a life lived with depth, honesty, and purpose.

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Workshops on Understanding & Overturning our “Immunity to Change”

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Introduction

Why is it that even after reading about Emotional Intelligence and agreeing with it, one does not become emotionally intelligent? Why do team coordination, coherence, and performance not improve consistently after attending workshop sessions on such topics? Why do almost 90% of training workshops conducted for individuals or groups and rated very highly immediately after completion fail to bring about any significant change in the participants? Are the participants so utterly devoid of commitment? Motivation? Will power? Does the problem lie with team cultures? Do organizational environments discourage such transformations? Or is the resistance to making a change a natural phenomenon?

Join our workshop to find answers to these questions and to successfully make positive changes in your and your team’s performance. (For more information, click here).

Goal

The workshop is designed to achieve two goals: First, to help participants directly observe their psychological immune systems at work, and second, to help them overcome their respective immune systems.

Audience

The workshop is offered for individuals and existing teams (with a minimum of eight members). In the case of teams, the participation of the team leader will be mandatory.

Preparation

Before the start of the workshop, all participants are requested to work on and generate a few improvement goals for themselves that they want to work on during the workshop. Guidelines for determining our improvement goals will be provided to the registrants before the start of the session.

Organization

Part 1: Mapping our “Immunity to Change”

In the first part, each participant will be taken through the process of uncovering, recognizing, and observing their psychological immune system at work and how it frustrates their efforts in making meaningful and desirable changes in their lives.

Part 2: Overcoming our “Immunity to Change” (at the choice of the participants)

In the second part, each participant will understand and undertake the process of overcoming their immunity to change and successfully materializing their desired improvement goal.

Methodology

“Overturning our Immunity to Change” sessions are planned as a cooperative, conversation-based, and experiential exercise in understanding and reflecting on the experience and then overturning our psychological immune system.

Duration

For Individuals & Groups

The first part of the workshop is likely to be completed in 5 to 7 hours of conceptual and group work. After completing the first part, participants may take a break or immediately continue working on the second part. (Total time: approximately 7 hours)

The conceptual work in the second part will be completed in a maximum of 2 hours, after which the participants will continue meeting and sharing the progress in their respective experimentation work every week for 60 to 90 minutes. Depending on the participants’ progress, the second part will likely be completed in the group’s 6 to 9 weekly meetings (including the 2-hour session on conceptual work). (Total time: approximately 14 hours)

For Teams

All team members will be required to complete the sessions for individuals and groups (as given above). Besides that, an additional 6 to 8 hours will be required for teams. (Total time: approximately 30 hours)

Prerequisites

Completion of part 1 is a prerequisite for registration in part 2. However, after the completion of part 1, the participants can register for part 2 at their convenience.

Investment

  1. For one-to-one sessions: US $50 per hour.
  2. For group participation (with at least 12 members): US $20 per hour per member.
  3. For existing teams:
  • For at least ten members US $20 per hour per member
  • Teams of less than ten members US $200 per hour.

Registration:

For registration, please fill in the form here.

For queries, and clarifications, you may leave a comment below.

 

Video Introduction

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OVERTURNING OUR

“IMMUNITY TO CHANGE”

Introduction

After completing a training workshop[1], invariably I get calls from participants who express concern about why they tend to ignore practicing the different concepts they have learned, even after comprehending them and agreeing with them. For instance, they would ask why they face difficulty in practicing the various guidelines of “effective conversations” or “expressing appreciation and disagreements” in their everyday lives. The same phenomenon can also be observed in corporate trainings. Almost 90% of training workshops conducted in the corporate sector, rated very highly immediately after completion, fail to bring about any significant and consistent change in the participants. Why is it so? Are the participants so utterly devoid of commitment? Motivation? Will power? Does the problem lie with team cultures? Do organizational environments discourage such transformations? Or is the resistance to making a change a natural phenomenon?

My short answer to such questions is that reading and understanding a book on Emotional Intelligence and being Emotionally Intelligent are two entirely different phenomena requiring different capacities from us. A more detailed answer, however, is given below:

There are two kinds of problems we face: “Technical Challenges” and “Adaptive Challenges.”[2]

In a Technical challenge, the skillset required to overcome the challenge is generally well-known. A strong desire to overcome the challenge, access to the necessary information about the skillset, the opportunity to learn that skillset, and a commitment to put in the required effort are likely to allow one to overcome such challenges[3].

Adaptive challenges, on the other hand, require a change in the mindset, attitudes, assumptions, and beliefs of the person trying to tackle them[4]. It may be interesting to note that one’s mindset, attitudes, assumptions, and beliefs constitute one’s psychological “self” or “identity.” As a result, overcoming an Adaptive challenge, in a way, puts one’s current psychological “self” and “identity” at risk. This is where our “psychological immune system” comes into play.

Like its biological counterpart, which protects our biological “identity” and “self,” our psychological immune system protects our psychological “identity” and “self.”

When we tackle Adaptive challenges, our psychological immune system is on high alert to protect us from destroying our psychological “self” and “identity” and to protect us from the consequent psychological pain, suffering, or even “death.” Also, like the biological immune system – which, for instance, can severely obstruct adaptability in organ transplants and, thus, work against the very system it was meant to protect – our psychological immune system, if not kept in check, can block any changes we know are desirable and, sometimes, even necessary for our psychological growth and wellbeing.

Overcoming an Adaptive challenge requires one to be committed to learning a new behavior, on the one hand, while also being willing to risk one’s current identity and psychological “self” to develop a new and improved identity and psychological “self,” on the other.

Another aspect of Technical and Adaptive challenges that makes the situation more complex is that some challenges can be Technical for one person and Adaptive for another. One person may find it sufficient to get information about maintaining a healthy lifestyle for actually maintaining one. Another person may have all the information about maintaining a healthy lifestyle but find it irresistible to avoid eating sweets whenever they are in sight.

The difference between Adaptive and Technical challenges makes it imperative that we 1) recognize them as two separate challenges, 2) know how to diagnose and separate them from each other, and 3) treat them differently.

For Technical problems, the solution lies in disseminating and delivering the required information by organizing training programs and workshops. Adaptive problems, on the other hand, require us to make conscious and intentional alterations in our mindsets, attitudes, assumptions, and beliefs.

But how does one achieve that?

Two developmental psychologists at Harvard – Robert Kegan and Lisa L. Lahey – and their colleagues developed and refined the answer to this question. Our workshop, “Overturning our Immunity to Change,” is based on their answer.

 

Video Introduction

 

 

 

[1] The topics of my workshops are generally related to character development and moral uplifting.

[2] See “The Practice of Adaptive Leadership” by Ronald Heifetz

[3] Such challenges may include learning to fly a plane, becoming a chef, a surgeon, a typist, reading a book on Emotional Intelligence, etc.

[4] Such challenges may include being more emotionally intelligent, developing a healthy lifestyle, being more mindful of the impact of one’s actions on others, overcoming an addiction, being more empathic with oneself and others, etc.

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The Making of a Good Human Being

Close to the border of Punjab and Sindh lies the city of Rahim Yar Khan. I had to travel there from Lahore on the 8th of December, 2019. I had to conduct a workshop session there, the next day. This time, the topic was “Our Impact on those Around Us.”

One of the discomforts that I have to face because of traveling is due to my own finical and restricted taste in food. I don’t like eating out. So, sometimes I try to make do on fresh fruits or even a packet of potato chips. 9th December was one such day. After having completed my session, I returned to my room at the Sadiq Club. I asked the manager on duty if I could get an egg sandwich. I was informed that the club did not have an in-house kitchen. So, I decided to take a walk to a nearby shop and get myself a packet of potato chips and a lemon malt. The shop was hardly 250 meters away from where I was staying.

As I started my walk back, after my shopping, I was a little startled as a young boy on a motorbike halted right beside me. A sudden storm of thoughts flooded my mind. Was he going to snatch the bag of my potato chips and lemon malt? Was I being robbed? Abducted? As the storm subsided, I realized that the boy was too frail to abduct me. There was nothing in his hands even remotely resembling a weapon, so a robbery was also not a possibility. Finally, having come to a complete halt, he was not in a position to snatch the bag from my hand.

As I returned to reality from my adventurous imaginations, I heard him say: “Uncle, sit. I’ll give you a ride.” Surprised at his offer, I told him: “I am staying at this club, it is just a few meters away.” He said: “I’ll drop you wherever you want to go.” Not able to control my curiosity, I asked: “Why do you want to help me, son?” I was pleasantly surprised, when he replied: “Because I want to be a good human being.” Lost for words, I silently sat behind him on his motorbike.

It was a very short companionship, yet a very impactful one.

Within a few seconds, we had stopped at the gate of the club where I was staying. Again, for the lack of anything better that came to my mind, I heard myself saying, “Son, can I give you some money?” He smiled and said, “No. No. That will spoil everything.” I asked him, “Spoil what?” He replied, “My effort to be a good human being.” I asked him again, “Seriously, why did you help me?” He replied, “My father used to tell me to help others, in whatever way I can. He used to say, ‘it is best that you help strangers, whom you are not even likely to meet again, as that will keep your heart clear of any expectations of a return.’ That, he used to say, is what makes a good human being.”

That was the last that I saw that young boy. As I was walking to my room, I was thinking about his father. He must have been an unusual man. In these times, when most parents only want to know about their child’s grades and scores, he was an exceptional parent, who ignited a very different aspiration in his son’s mind.

I entered my room and started preparing to review the material for my session scheduled for the next day. As I opened my files, the title of the session caught my eyes: “Our Impact on those Around Us.”

The smiling face of the young boy was clear in my mind.

December 15, 2019
(Bahawalpur, Pakistan)

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Who are You?

Today, I would like to direct the same question to my friends, which I tried to answer for myself in the last post: “Who are you and what is the identity that you have chosen for yourself?”

Conduct an experiment: If you only ask the first part of the question, “who are you?” almost everyone that you meet will answer it by telling you their name or, sometimes, by adding their position or the designation, which they hold in their organization, or by explaining what they do. This clearly points out, on the one hand, that most people – a very large majority – have no sense of identity other than the names that they were given or other than the jobs that they are performing. While, on the other hand, it is an indication that we are, generally, so devoid of a sense of identity that we search for it in such things as our positions, designations, and achievements. However, the problem is that as a being with a conscious, as well as a conscience, we will not be satisfied with an identity given to us by someone else – even if that someone includes our parents, or elders. Neither will we be satisfied with an identity that is likely to change every time our position, work, responsibility, or social status is changed by the circumstances.

Thus, our sense of identity not only gives us stability in our ever changing, unpredictable, and complex world and circumstances, it also gives a meaning to our lives; it provides us the strength to face our share of failures and difficult times in life; it gives us the courage to do what we understand to be right, even when the costs of doing right are high. In a way, it makes us fully human – conscious and conscientious – and connects us to a purpose larger than ourselves.

As a side note, it may be interesting to know that one of the reasons ascribed to the recent increase in the incidence of depression and even suicide – which is indicative of complete hopelessness and despair – is lack of meaning in one’s life. Viktor Frankl’s treatise, ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ and the subsequent recognition of ‘Logotherapy’ as a branch of Psychology, allows me to say with confidence that striving to find meaning in life is the primary, most powerful motivating driving force in humans.

The idea of a lack of consciously developed identity and a lack of meaning in life reminds me of the large number of students – especially aspiring medical students – who invariably call me in a state of extreme hopelessness and distress, because of their low grades, which are insufficient for pursuing their further studies to become doctors. They clearly sound as if they have lost all sense of identity from their lives. The position and the emotional state of adults is not significantly different, when they are removed from their long-standing, cherished positions.

I do not intend to give the impression that in my opinion, such incidents in life should not be a cause of disturbance and sadness. They most definitely are and probably will continue to be. But, that is life, isn’t it? Things – unpleasant and unwanted – are also going to happen. Having a strong sense of meaning and self-identity will greatly support us in going through the turbulent times of life. This is precisely the message that I have discerned from Viktor Frankl’s ‘Man’s search for Meaning.’

Coming back to the point, I would like you to answer the question “Who are you and what is the identity that you have chosen for yourself?”

Take some time in trying to answer this question. Look past yourself and beyond your immediate needs, desires, and concerns. Look at your surroundings and see what is it that you care enough to contribute to the people around you. Is there any way that you can slightly reduce anyone’s suffering? Is there any thing that you feel moved enough to contribute to those for whom your contribution is of much more value than it costs you? Your identity doesn’t have to be something that challenges the whole world. It can be as humble as making a small difference in a single life – one life at a time. Something that you are moved to contribute as you go through all the ups and downs of your own life. Something that provides you a stable and a permanent identity – at least in your own eyes – irrespective of the changes in your position, responsibility, job, or status.

December 14, 2019
(Lahore, Pakistan)

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Who am I?

Life is strange!

Sometimes we do things in life without even thinking how lasting their impact can be and when we might be revisited by them.

When I started writing on the World Wide Web – back in 1996 – I changed my language of writing from Urdu to English. Before that, Urdu had been my primary language – at least for writing. I had worked hard to be able to write in a way that would be comprehensible for a common educated person. For almost seven years I wrote exclusively in the Urdu language. I have an impression from the comments of a few of my close and ‘blunt’ friends that I had developed into an acceptably readable writer.

In 1996, I was accidentally introduced to the internet. I was immediately stuck on the idea that the World Wide Web was the media of the future. I started thinking about how to use it. No one among my colleagues and teachers agreed with me at that time. In fact, I was sometimes even dissuaded and discouraged from trying to go for it. Nevertheless, I decided to give it a try – even if only as an experiment. It was then that I decided to revive my “prowess” of the English language.

Another factor that had kept me from writing in the English language – even though the institution that I was affiliated with was producing a monthly English journal of its own – was that my proficiency in the language was not considered to be of an acceptable level. One of my very well-wishing colleagues once remarked that if I wanted to write in English, I should learn some basic rules of the language first. Unfortunately, however, my impatience to express myself always overwhelmed and strangled the patience which was required to learn the art of expression.

It was in this background that in 1996 I started writing in the English language. Also, most probably, it was because of this background that my initial writings were written under a pseudonym.

We – humans – have the ability and the intelligence to justify our decisions and actions. We can fabricate an apparently morally superior motive for our decisions and actions than the one that is real. Although its been close to 24-years, but today I have a feeling that that was my case when I was asked to explain my reason for writing under a pseudonym. My answer then was that I do not want to write for fame or for being known. But, as I look back today – almost 24-years later – I have serious doubts that my answer fully depicted my intentions. I think a more accurate reason could have been my fear of failure that discouraged me from using my real name.

So, it was a pseudonym that I started writing under. The name that I selected for myself at that time was “The Learner.”

I liked the sound as well as the implication of this name. It clearly meant that I was not writing from a position of authority, but was actually using my writings as a learning process. It also continuously reminded me that there should be no place for the arrogance of certainty and closed-mindedness in my life as “The Learner.” Although, I continued writing under this pseudonym for almost a year, but I was so fond of this name that even my email address at that time had the same handle “learner.” This email address lasted for almost 8-years. Then, some time in 2005, I opened a “gmail” account, where I started operating my email account with my real name, after which “The Learner” was completely abandoned.

Thus, “The Learner” is what transpired in my life almost a quarter-of-a-century back.

A few months back, while reading a book, I was confronted with a very interesting and important question. The book asked me “Who are you and what is the identity that you have chosen for yourself?” It also reminded me that when faced with this question, we have a tendency to answer it by naming our position, responsibility, or work. Most of us may answer this question with words like politician, service-man, teacher, student, mother, father, manager, accountant, or bureaucrat, etc. However, these words do not tell who we are or what our identity is. On the contrary, these are all transient positions that we hold in the journey of our lives. Our identity should not be dependent on something that is transient, because then our identity too will lack any permanence. The key is to describe yourself with a name that is big enough to contain your whole life, as you imagine it today.

With all these instructions in mind, I set out on a search. It did not take me long to answer the question. My quarter-of-a-century-old pseudonym came to my rescue as the first part of my answer, and my learnings during these years provided me with the second part. I wrote down on a 3”X 3” post-it, which was lying on my study table:

I am a learner and a contributor to the rejuvenation of the human spirit.

 

December 05, 2019
(Lahore, Pakistan)

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