I didn’t expect that a single sentence would shake me that morning. It happened during a team meeting. I had just presented an idea I’d been refining for weeks. One colleague smiled brightly and said, “Amazing work. Seriously impressive.”
I felt a warm surge of happiness rise inside me. But before that warmth could settle, another colleague muttered, “It’s okay… nothing special.”
And just like that, the happiness was shattered. One sentence lifted me up; another brought me down. As if both people were pressing buttons on my emotions’ remote control.
After the meeting, I stepped outside, trying to process the emotional rollercoaster.
That’s when Sara found me. “You look like you rode an emotional rollercoaster,” she said, sitting next to me.
“You’re not wrong,” I admitted. “One compliment lifted me, and one remark crushed me. I don’t know why I’m so… fragile.”
She smiled knowingly.
This is what emotional awareness is about.
“A feeling rises in you,” she said, “and instead of observing it, you let it steer the car.”
I frowned. “Are you saying I shouldn’t feel happy when someone praises me?”
“No,” she said softly, “I’m saying you shouldn’t let unexamined praise rule you. It’s just as risky as unexamined criticism.”
I stared at her.
“Think about it,” she continued. “Praise can inflate your ego without basis. Criticism can puncture your confidence without reason. In both cases, you are reacting to opinions, not truth.”
Her words struck me hard.
Don’t rise on praise, don’t sink on criticism — until you know the specifics.
She leaned back, hands folded. “Here’s the rule,” she said. ‘Unless you know the specifics, neither praise nor criticism should affect you.’
I blinked. “Why?”
“Because both can be vague, emotional, impulsive, or inaccurate.” She paused. “Just like someone can overpraise without understanding your work, someone can criticize without understanding it.”
I realized how quickly I had let both influence my mood.
Outsourced Emotions
Sara continued, “If you let praise lift you instantly, you are handing over your sense of worth to someone else. If you let criticism crush you instantly, you’re doing the same.”
I stared at the ground. “So basically… my emotions today were outsourced?”
“All of them,” she said softly. “You didn’t check either comment for accuracy. You simply reacted.”
The blunt honesty stung, but it was true.
Ask for specifics — for both praise AND criticism
“Here’s what emotionally strong people do,” she said, “They ask for specifics.”
If someone says your work is great:
- What exactly did they find valuable?
- Which part worked well?
- What specifically impressed them?
If someone says your work isn’t good:
- Which part?
- What needs improvement?
- Can they show an example?
Sara smiled and said, “Once you get the specifics, you can either improve or appreciate what’s true. Without specifics, both praise and criticism are just noise.”
A Story About Vague Praise
She reminded me of a moment I had forgotten. “Last month, someone told you, ‘Your presentation was excellent!’ Remember?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “And when I asked what they liked, they said, ‘Umm… everything. I didn’t really understand it, but it looked good.’”
I laughed. I remembered that I had felt proud of that compliment for days—based on nothing.
“See?” she said, “Vague praise inflated you just as easily as vague criticism deflated you.”
What Emotional Awareness Actually Means
She explained gently, “Emotional awareness is noticing when a feeling rises or falls — and examining whether it’s based on truth or just noise.”
A feeling isn’t the problem. A blind reaction is.
The Choice I Didn’t Know I Had
“So, what do I do now?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Ask questions. Root yourself in truth, not reactions. And remember, if a feeling lifts you or crushes you instantly, it probably came from ego or insecurity — not truth.”
I exhaled deeply. It made too much sense.
Walking Back Inside With Balance
As we stood up, she said, “Your emotions should be shaped by clarity, not by someone else’s passing opinion. Learn to pause between the comment and the reaction. That pause is where your strength lives.”
She walked away, leaving the air a little lighter around me. And I realized for the first time:
Neither praise nor criticism is a compass for my worth.
Specifics are. Truth is. Awareness is.
Everything else is noise.
